'Felix The Cat,
The wonderful wonderful cat!
Whenever he gets in a fix..."
Well, what do we have here? A Bodybag! Let's open it up.
"Oh, no!"
It's Felix the Cat! He's dead! What happened to Felix in our last episode? We don't know yet. Looks like he couldn't get out of this fix!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
CHRISTMAS WITH BATMAN!
"Jingle Bells!
Batman smells!
Robin laid an egg!
Batmobile
Lost a wheel
and Joker got away!"
Hey! What's this?
Batty greetings about Batman?
Insulting Robin the Boy Wonder?
A tragic Batmobile accident?
And Joker escaping from prison?
But Wait! The Worst Is Yet To Come!
More details tomorrow.
Same bat time,
same bat channel.
Meanwhile....
"Brusha Brusha Brusha!
With a new Ipana!
It's a new toothpaste!
I love its taste!"
And if that doesn't work....
Don't drive drunk this Halloween! Take a taxi!
Remember, friends don't let friends drive drunk.
Batman smells!
Robin laid an egg!
Batmobile
Lost a wheel
and Joker got away!"
Hey! What's this?
Batty greetings about Batman?
Insulting Robin the Boy Wonder?
A tragic Batmobile accident?
And Joker escaping from prison?
But Wait! The Worst Is Yet To Come!
More details tomorrow.
Same bat time,
same bat channel.
Meanwhile....
"Brusha Brusha Brusha!
With a new Ipana!
It's a new toothpaste!
I love its taste!"
And if that doesn't work....
Don't drive drunk this Halloween! Take a taxi!
Remember, friends don't let friends drive drunk.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
ATTENCAO! NAVE XUXA A FRACASADO EM ENTRAR A TERRA!
There's a new interval signal from a new shorrtwave radio station in Brazil called Radio Xuxana! A tribute to children's hostess Xuxa, this program airs nothing but kids top 40 music and messages from Xuxa. Every day, the broadcast begins by the computer voice saying "Atencao! Nave Xuxa aproximando a Terra!" This means, "Attention! Xuxa's ship is approaching Earth."
On this particular morning, there's an explosion and screaming heard as something sinister happens. And then we hear, "Atencao! Nave Xuxa A Fracasado Em Entrar A Terra." Which means, "Attention! Xuxa's ship has broken up as it has entered Earth." After that, an announcement is made that Xuxa's ship blew up on entering Earth's atmosphere.
After a 30 second period of silence, the Brazilian national anthem is played in a funereal version, after which the announcer tells the listeners that the broadcast is ended for the day...and possibly forever.
While we're waiting for official confirmation, let me tell you the story about the Hooded Claw. During last summer's Hot Dots 200 race at the Stade Olympique in Montreal, Patricia Pantonini, professionally known as Penelope Pitstop, was leading in her new Compact Pussycat X in the early laps of the race. Suddenly, there was a shootout on the track between 2 men-Sylvester Sneakly, Ms. Pitstop's Uncle and protector, and Dick Dastardly, who was banned from participating in the race.
As the cars turned onto lap 23 of the 200 lap race, several bullets from the two gentlemen's guns hit the Pussycat, causing it to flip over and explode. The race had to be stopped and Penelope's car was doused with water to stop the fire. By the time they got her out, she'd had burns over 85% of her body. She was rushed to Hotel Dieu Hospital where she was pronounced dead after 3 hours of medical treatment.
Both men were arrested and charged with first degree murder in her death. However, both men contend that Ms. Pitstop was not their intended target; Dastardly was angry that Sylvester had run over his dog Muttley while crossing the border into Canada earlier that day. Both men were held held without bond in separate cells in a local police station in Montreal.
3 days later, one of the Montreal Police detectives visited Mr. Sneakly's cell and showed him a cape, a hat and a mask. "Do you remember this?" he asked.
"Well..." Sylvester started to answer, but the detective interrupted him.
"This is your Hooded Claw outfit," he pointed out. "You used this to try to knock off Penelope Pitstop, didn't you?"
"Well," Sylvester said, "I wasn't trying to knock off Penelope at the race track. I was trying to knock off Dick Dastardly for urinating behind my car at the Border Crossing station. Who told you this?"
"Your friends, the Bully Brothers," the detective said. Sylvester's face froze in shock before he collapsed on the floor.
"Blast!" he said, bursting into tears.
"Not only that," the detective asked, "but Mr. Dastardly has been released on bail in return for damaging testimony against you."
Sylvester didn't have anything to say about that...
Just got word that Xuxa was late in reporting to her rocket station and the ship went off without her. She's okay, but she'll need a new one to get back to her friends on Earth.
Well, that's all the news.
On this particular morning, there's an explosion and screaming heard as something sinister happens. And then we hear, "Atencao! Nave Xuxa A Fracasado Em Entrar A Terra." Which means, "Attention! Xuxa's ship has broken up as it has entered Earth." After that, an announcement is made that Xuxa's ship blew up on entering Earth's atmosphere.
After a 30 second period of silence, the Brazilian national anthem is played in a funereal version, after which the announcer tells the listeners that the broadcast is ended for the day...and possibly forever.
While we're waiting for official confirmation, let me tell you the story about the Hooded Claw. During last summer's Hot Dots 200 race at the Stade Olympique in Montreal, Patricia Pantonini, professionally known as Penelope Pitstop, was leading in her new Compact Pussycat X in the early laps of the race. Suddenly, there was a shootout on the track between 2 men-Sylvester Sneakly, Ms. Pitstop's Uncle and protector, and Dick Dastardly, who was banned from participating in the race.
As the cars turned onto lap 23 of the 200 lap race, several bullets from the two gentlemen's guns hit the Pussycat, causing it to flip over and explode. The race had to be stopped and Penelope's car was doused with water to stop the fire. By the time they got her out, she'd had burns over 85% of her body. She was rushed to Hotel Dieu Hospital where she was pronounced dead after 3 hours of medical treatment.
Both men were arrested and charged with first degree murder in her death. However, both men contend that Ms. Pitstop was not their intended target; Dastardly was angry that Sylvester had run over his dog Muttley while crossing the border into Canada earlier that day. Both men were held held without bond in separate cells in a local police station in Montreal.
3 days later, one of the Montreal Police detectives visited Mr. Sneakly's cell and showed him a cape, a hat and a mask. "Do you remember this?" he asked.
"Well..." Sylvester started to answer, but the detective interrupted him.
"This is your Hooded Claw outfit," he pointed out. "You used this to try to knock off Penelope Pitstop, didn't you?"
"Well," Sylvester said, "I wasn't trying to knock off Penelope at the race track. I was trying to knock off Dick Dastardly for urinating behind my car at the Border Crossing station. Who told you this?"
"Your friends, the Bully Brothers," the detective said. Sylvester's face froze in shock before he collapsed on the floor.
"Blast!" he said, bursting into tears.
"Not only that," the detective asked, "but Mr. Dastardly has been released on bail in return for damaging testimony against you."
Sylvester didn't have anything to say about that...
Just got word that Xuxa was late in reporting to her rocket station and the ship went off without her. She's okay, but she'll need a new one to get back to her friends on Earth.
Well, that's all the news.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
THE NATIONAL BRAINWASHING COMPANY!
SPOKESMAN: THE NATIONAL BRAINWASHING COMPANY PRESENTS!
SFX: Fireworks through the announcement.
ANNOUNCER:
1! 2! 3! Time again for Tennessee! Tuxedo and His Tales! This portion brought to you by….
SPOKESMAN: ADOLPH SCHICKLEGREWER’S SPECIAL HOPS! THE WORST BEER EVER BREWED! ONE TASTE…AND YOU DIE! DON’T DRINK ADOLPH SCHICKLEGREWER’S SPECIAL
HOPS! IT’S THE WORST BEER YOU COULD EVER
DRINK!
SFX: Death rattle(X3).
Monday, July 22, 2013
POSTPONED!
The blog entry on the Hooded Claw has been postponed to a later date. Instead, I'd like to expose a Mother Goose Rhyme:
"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
All the King's Horses and all the king's men
couldn't put Humpty together again."
When I went to Camp Fatima on the last week of August 1975, the theme of the week was "Mother Goose." I met them all: Little Bo Peep, Mary Mary Quite Contrary and Humpty Dumpty. The guy who's a big egg who collapses into egg yolks. Well, here's something shocking: in the 16th. through 19th. centuries, people weren't allowed to criticize the government, especially in England. Such gossip was punishment by death, so rhymes were created to parody such events.
Well, in this particular case, Humpty Dumpty referred to a large cannon mounted on a church tower in Colchester, England. During the English Civil War, the tower was hit by cannon fire and those who were trying to fix the cannon were killed in their attempts to do so. That's right!
I thank Brainz.org's web site for information on this story. You see, you learn something new every day.
Until next time, bloggers....
"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
All the King's Horses and all the king's men
couldn't put Humpty together again."
When I went to Camp Fatima on the last week of August 1975, the theme of the week was "Mother Goose." I met them all: Little Bo Peep, Mary Mary Quite Contrary and Humpty Dumpty. The guy who's a big egg who collapses into egg yolks. Well, here's something shocking: in the 16th. through 19th. centuries, people weren't allowed to criticize the government, especially in England. Such gossip was punishment by death, so rhymes were created to parody such events.
Well, in this particular case, Humpty Dumpty referred to a large cannon mounted on a church tower in Colchester, England. During the English Civil War, the tower was hit by cannon fire and those who were trying to fix the cannon were killed in their attempts to do so. That's right!
I thank Brainz.org's web site for information on this story. You see, you learn something new every day.
Until next time, bloggers....
Friday, June 7, 2013
ON TONIGHT'S SPECIAL REPORT.....
I'm sure you're all familiar with the Good & Plenty licorice candies that are sold in stores across the country. And I'm sure you remember the story of Choo Choo Charlie, the little engineer who used his Good & Plenty candy to make his trains run. From 1950 until the 1970s, you'd see him run his train with the box, shaking it to make the sound of an engine.
And I'm sure you're familiar with the jingle, right?
"Charlie says,
Love My Good & Plenty!
Don't know any other candy
that I love so well!"
That song was set to the tune of "Casey Jones," the ballad of another railroad engineer.
Well, in 1971, Charlie was using his Good & Plenty box to run his train across the US/Canadian border as a marketing campaign to introduce the candy to Canadian children when suddenly, in a small town called Pufferville, Ontario, 10 miles from Buffalo, New York, a group of bikers were crossing the railroad line. Two of the bikers crashed into the train, sending Choo Choo Charlie flying into a ditch. He landed hard on his back and broke his spinal cord. His passenger, who was a young lady whose name is forgotten, was flung headlong into the window of the train. She ended up being run over by it before the train itself jack knifed off the track and into a nearby railroad yard.
The 2 bikers themselves were killed and another was injured. The other bikers took off and left them there. They've never been found, let alone prosecuted.
When the EMS people found him after two hours, Charlie was still screaming, "Love My Good & Plenty." In fact, as they took him to the hospital to be evaluated on his condition.
The news was reported in every media outlet worldwide, and the people who ran Good & Plenty were hit with several lawsuits from the families involved in the accident. All of them were settled out of court.
Oh, Choo Choo Charlie is still alive and well, but he's been paralyzed from the neck down and is unable to walk. But he still loves to make that Good & Plenty sound effect when he's in his bed at night. That's all he's able to do since his voice box was ruptured in the accident.
On our next episode, Sylvester Sneakely faces the death penalty for trying to kill Penelope Pitstop-but killing Dick Dastardly instead. Don't miss it.
And I'm sure you're familiar with the jingle, right?
"Charlie says,
Love My Good & Plenty!
Don't know any other candy
that I love so well!"
That song was set to the tune of "Casey Jones," the ballad of another railroad engineer.
Well, in 1971, Charlie was using his Good & Plenty box to run his train across the US/Canadian border as a marketing campaign to introduce the candy to Canadian children when suddenly, in a small town called Pufferville, Ontario, 10 miles from Buffalo, New York, a group of bikers were crossing the railroad line. Two of the bikers crashed into the train, sending Choo Choo Charlie flying into a ditch. He landed hard on his back and broke his spinal cord. His passenger, who was a young lady whose name is forgotten, was flung headlong into the window of the train. She ended up being run over by it before the train itself jack knifed off the track and into a nearby railroad yard.
The 2 bikers themselves were killed and another was injured. The other bikers took off and left them there. They've never been found, let alone prosecuted.
When the EMS people found him after two hours, Charlie was still screaming, "Love My Good & Plenty." In fact, as they took him to the hospital to be evaluated on his condition.
The news was reported in every media outlet worldwide, and the people who ran Good & Plenty were hit with several lawsuits from the families involved in the accident. All of them were settled out of court.
Oh, Choo Choo Charlie is still alive and well, but he's been paralyzed from the neck down and is unable to walk. But he still loves to make that Good & Plenty sound effect when he's in his bed at night. That's all he's able to do since his voice box was ruptured in the accident.
On our next episode, Sylvester Sneakely faces the death penalty for trying to kill Penelope Pitstop-but killing Dick Dastardly instead. Don't miss it.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
WELCOME TO BEHIND THE CARTOONS!
Welcome to Behind The Cartoons, the fictionalized accounts of childhood cartoons and the hard times they fell upon after their series were cancelled by the networks. Yes, this is of my own imagination, but there are possibilities.
For example, what if Jay Sherman, the Critic, was injured in a card accident? Let's suppose it left him paralyzed from the neck down and unable to talk. Or how about Choo Choo Charlie, the kid who used Good 'N' Plenty Candy to make his trains run? We'll discover how one certain trip on the tracks ended in disaster, with Charlie being thrown from the train.
Or maybe....
For example, what if Jay Sherman, the Critic, was injured in a card accident? Let's suppose it left him paralyzed from the neck down and unable to talk. Or how about Choo Choo Charlie, the kid who used Good 'N' Plenty Candy to make his trains run? We'll discover how one certain trip on the tracks ended in disaster, with Charlie being thrown from the train.
Or maybe....
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